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Many people don’t truly know what they require in a relationship. Nor do they understand that our childhood experiences impact how we connect to others. Those experiences determine the relationships we encounter in later life, both healthy and not. I’ve noticed that people don’t learn enough regarding themselves and from those experiences. They often settle or try to make relationships work that aren’t meant to, without success.

I’m here as big sis to make it known you’re not the only one that’s been through it. To counteract this, conduct self-analysis and embark on the path of self-exploration.

 

 

 

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

 

 Self-exploration tool

 If you don’t know your Love Language or Attachment Style by now, you have no choice but to find it out today (after you finish reading this post). Figuring out your love language and attachment style is a key step to learning more about yourself and how you connect with others. You can then use your findings as a tool to express yourself to your partner or see why you follow a certain pattern with choosing partners.

You’re not broken, nor are you unloveable. You’re one of a kind and you’ve had life experiences that helped to mold you into the people you are today. Don’t interpret this to mean you have nothing to work on within yourself. Everyone has something they can work on. Figuring out your attachment style may show you that there are some issues you have to examine in your own life.

Keep in mind attachment styles can change, so pay attention if someone is shifting your attachment style.

This can be positive or negative, since the idea is to become securely attached, not anxious, avoidant, nor a combination of the two.

For example, I was in a relationship where, initially, I thought I had an avoidant attachment style. As the relationship went on, it became apparent was anxious-avoidant. Yup, one of the most confusing attachment styles ever. It took a while, but I eventually removed myself from the relationship and did some soul searching to see how deeply my childhood impacted me. This lead to me creating some healthier habits like establishing boundaries and not bending them.

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To sum it all up:

I wrote this post in order to show the importance of self-exploration and how it’s essential to discover what you need within a relationship. It will assist you in figuring out areas you need to work on becoming a more well-rounded person and aid in achieving fulfilling relationships.

If you need some extra guidance, I encourage you to read Game of Desire by Shan Boodram. She even includes a workbook and quizzes on her site www.thegameofdesire.com that you can also use as a tool to do some more self-exploration.

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Give Yourself A Chance